When You Have Challenges

         We All Face Challenges

 

Sometimes it's just temporary.

Sometimes our challenges last longer.

Often we forget that saving our energy and making accommodations for aging and chronic conditions before we need to is helpful.

Almost always we forget about the stress of illness on our minds, and the stress of care-giving on our family.

     Through God’s grace, we need to use and appreciate the people and services in our lives designed to help us through these times. Here are some suggestions in case you have not experienced them before.  

Category of Help

Specific Suggestions

Use Natural Supports

Natural Supports are those that are all around you regardless of where you live, if you ASK.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone says, “Let me know if I can do anything.” They mean it, but they have to know what to do to be helpful. If you could use help with laundry, or meals, say it. Maybe you need to have the dog’s shots done and you can’t drive, but a neighbor who knows the dog would take you- but you never asked. Not asking is the thing we do wrong most often. When we do that, we deny ourselves help, and we deny others the privilege of being helpful. Everyone knows that it feels good to help others. And spreading around the work makes it lighter on everyone. Perhaps no one can make all your meals for a month, but they can make ONE meal much easier. Perhaps one friend can organize what you need as their contribution. ASK!

1.    Members of Archangel Michael Greek Orthodox Church should tell us that you are ill or troubled, so we can pray for you and consider how to be part of the solution

2.    Alert your family, friends, and groups you belong to, what’s going on with you. The more people who know, the more choices there are for assistance- if you ASK. Your hairdresser might make a home visit if you ask. Your niece might pick up a basket of laundry and return it the next day. Your neighbor might have a shower chair they don’t use. But no one can know you need anything unless you ASK.

3.  Sometimes, you just need a chat with someone to clear your mind and take a break from your troubles. Call, text, or stop by to see a friend and have a cup of coffee. Invite someone over. Ask someone out to lunch. It's okay to be the one to initiate contact.

4.  As always, have a good emergency plan in place. We all need to have wills, living wills, health care surrogates, and emergency phone numbers ready for when we need them. It helps those who love us if they know what to do, and it helps us feel in control when we are not well.

Try Community Supports

 Community supports are those available due to the place you reside and how it’s organized.

Consider community supports where you live.

1.    Do you have a clubhouse where you live that might advertise house cleaners or other assistance?

2.    Do you have the option of requesting extra help temporarily?

3.    Is there a bus that goes to specific places on specific days?

4.    Check your newspaper and online for special services offered within your community. Use search words like “transportation help in Citrus County, FL’, ‘Food bank’, ectera. Or  use resources like the Citrus County phone number list found here. 

Utilize the Benefits we Pay For

We pay for many things we don’t use and sometimes don’t know about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1.    If you already have trusted at-home help, ask for additional assistance. Your house cleaner might shop for you. The man who cuts your grass might gas up your car. If they have time, they might want to earn extra money.

2.    Call your PCP and tell him/her what’s going on. You may have a problem that can be fixed with different treatment or a referral to another professional. Never ‘suffer in silence’.

3.    Call your insurance company. There are many services to help that you may not have ever heard of. Or it may all seem overwhelming and you need help with it. Call the member services line and ask about your benefits for:

Peer Navigator- this is a ‘regular’ person like you who can help you understand insurance services, answer questions in layman’s terms, and walk you through what to try. They can also help if you have had a service denial so you don’t lose any appeal rights. NEVER just accept a denial from an insurance company!

Case Manager- This a nurse or social worker whose job it is to help connect you with services you need. Usually it’s all about health care, but not always. They can help find community services, make sure you have applied for all benefits available, see if there are grants that supply other things you need, and arrange transportation if it’s an option under your plan (and it is under most Medicaid or Medicare plans).

Occupational Therapy- We all know about the benefits of Physical Therapy, but many don’t know this one. This is an overlooked service usually available via a Home Health Care referral from your PCP. An Occupational Therapist assesses your ability to take care of yourself and makes suggestions for how to modify your process or environment to make things easier. Where to put support bars, how to place a shower chair, the best way to set up a chair and use a special tool to help you get your shoes on, and much more can be greatly helped by an OT referral.

Get Creative!

 There are many ways to get things done. Don’t let your imagination get stifled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1.    ASK! Your pharmacy might deliver. Your car service department might pick up and drop off your car for needed maintenance. Your mailman might deliver to the door and your garbage man might pull out and return the cans for you for a small fee. When you call for or about a service, if you need accommodation, ask for it.

2.    Look around. If something isn’t working for you, think about what would work better. Examples:

·        Work smart. Conserve strength. Set a basket with handles in the living room and put in the things that accumulate. Take the basket from room to room and put things away so you don’t run around for each one separately, and ‘clutter’ is unseen inside a pretty basket.

·        Get a folding cart and put things in it so you pull or push things (like laundry and groceries) instead of ‘carrying’ them.

·        Put a chair in the closet and sit down to dress instead of standing up.

·        Put a little bookcase in the bathroom and place things you need right in reach instead of standing or walking around.

·        Change sides of the couch with your partner so your side makes it easier to use the end table with your ‘good arm’, or gets you closer to the bathroom.

·        Use the crockpot

·        Get ‘fresh’ ready-made meals instead of cooking

·        Ask your daughter for her dinner leftovers. It might be too little for her family for another meal, but perfect for you tomorrow.

·        Walker: If you use a walker, there are many things to consider. Remember that you won't have use of your hands. Make sure it has a ‘basket’ on it to carry things. if you don’t have a basket yet, try using a large ‘crossbody’ purse to put things in so your hands are free when you walk. Only use beverages with tops on them. Keep leftover containers with tops handy. When you go in the kitchen to make a sandwich, put it in the container and then carry it and a bottle of water back to your chair. Get rid of all throw rugs. Put your cellphone in a case with straps that go over your neck so it’s always with you.

Get Comfortable with Online Help

 COVID taught us all to do business differently and that ‘face-to-face’ isn’t always needed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The world has moved online. Online actions aren't that hard when you get used to it and know the terms. Some things work well on a computer (PC or MAC) and some work better using an ‘APP’ on a smartphone. Get informed on those words and learn to do things online. Example- Currently LabCorp inside the Walgreens stores will ONLY do blood draws if you have an appointment. You can still get one by calling, but that could change. Navigating online is getting to be mandatory. AND it REALLY OPENS UP POSSIBILITIES. Sometimes, you can access the same services by calling in for orders, so don't give up if you don't understand the online world. Contrary to anything you hear, older follks can learn new things, so check around for help. Perhaps younger family members can show you.

1.    Some doctors can do online visits with you that are surprisingly effective. They can see you and hear you well and these visits are great when you are sick or contagious, have no ride, or just feel too bad to get there. These visits are done just by clicking on a link you are sent in email or via text.

2.    Amazon, Walmart, and many grocery stores have online services for ordering for pickup or delivery.

3.    Generic ‘InstaCart’ will go to more than one place and bring your online orders.

4.    GrubHub and Door Dash will bring you restaurant meals you order online.

5.    Online bankiing creates many opportunities for help. For example, your daughter in California can pay your housekeeper in Florida via online banking services like Zelle. Payment arrives immediately. 

Fictional Story About Facing Challenges

 

Jane and Joe Simpson are in their eighties. They live in their own mortgage-free home. Jane has vision problems, high blood pressure, and kidney problems. Joe had a heart attack five years ago. He is stressed over the increased volume of household chores he has as Jane’s health worsened. Jane does as much as she can because she doesn’t like that Joe has to do so much. They have managed to take care of their own living needs with just a lawn service and a housekeeper who comes once a month to do the heavy cleaning.

Joe takes a tumble and breaks his right foot. He needs a cast for 6 weeks. He is using crutches but tries to hobble along without them and scares Jane because he wobbles and doesn’t use the crutches properly,  and she’s sure he’s going to fall. He tried to put a garbage bag over his cast and take a shower yesterday and slid to the floor. He didn’t get hurt, but they had a hard time getting him up. He can’t drive. Neither can Jane. She has some vision but not enough to trust herself driving. Jane’s ophthalmologist wants to try a new medication for her glaucoma but she gets a notice that it requires a ‘prior authorization’ which wasn’t done, so the order is canceled. Jane and Joe are overwhelmed and need help.

Here’s what could happen in a best-case-scenario.

  1. Jane tells their PCP about Joe’s fall risks. Since Joe can't drive, the PCP does an online visit with Joe through the computer using a link that is sent in email. He convinces Joe that he should be using a walker for better stability, and he needs someone to assess how things get done at home to make it safer for Joe. The PCP orders home health services.
  2. The home health care company assesses Joe and sends a physical therapist who brings the walker and shows Joe how to use it. Occupational Therapy comes and shows Joe how to get dressed and cleaned up more safely. They decide that three grab bars are needed in the bathroom along with the shower chair and he shows Joe how to wrap up his cast using disposable plastic umbrella bags.
  3. The housekeeper hears Jane complaining she can't see a webpage on the computer, and shows her how to increase the font on the computer. Now Jane can see it pretty well. She goes online to Home Depot and picks out the grab bars she wants. She carefully follows the instructions on the webpage to buy them and have them delivered to the house. Joe mentions it to the lawn guy. He has been serving Jane and Joe for ten years. He is happy to help them and volunteers to install the grab bars. Joe uses them. Jane is also delighted because they make her feel safer too.
  4. The home health nurse counsels them both to stop obsessing about what they can’t do and suggests they work together to decide task priorities and how to get them done. Laundry is a problem. Jane is very fussy about how it’s done. Joe often drops dirty clothes and towels on the floor which annoys Jane and is a trip hazard for both of them. Also, the laundry basket is too heavy for Jane to manage and now Joe can’t while he needs the walker. Joe wants to help Jane but doesn’t like all the rules she has about how it’s done. They talk and make some changes. Joe uses the basket on his walker to transport the dirty items to the hamper. Jane puts a second dirty clothes hamper in the closet. They use one for colors and one for whites. This makes smaller loads that Jane can handle alone and do it her way. They both fold clothes while they sit on the couch and watch the news. Jane puts the clothes away. With her decreased vision she needs to know what is where. They feel satisfied about the new process, and decide to find a better way to handle doing dishes. They agree to run the dishwasher once a week even if it's not full. Jane puts the dishes away because she doesn't like how Joe does it. 
  5. Meals are a problem. Neither Jane or Joe are able to do a good job. They both are tired of trying and have not been eating well. Jane mentions this to a church friend who calls to check on them. They are put on the church prayer list and the need for meals is communicated to the Philoptochos group. Four women from church team up. They each make extra for a meal they cook for their family that week, package it up, and freeze the  meals. They take the meals to church that Sunday and a fifth church lady drops the meals off. She knows about computers and takes the time to show Jane and Joe how to order groceries online, and shows them how to find fresh meals ready for easy cooking that taste great. Joe likes making homemade pizza, and misses it while he can't make it. He finds an acceptable version online in the in the cooler aisle at Walmart when he looks online. Now he’s a convert. He does most of the ordering. Jane helps put things away when they are delivered.
  6. Jane is frustrated about not getting the new medication but hates tussling with the insurance company. Finally, she sets aside time and calls the company. She asks to be referred to case management services. She gets assigned to a nurse who links her with impaired vision services. They have their own van and can pick her up twice a week for training on how to do things with impaired vision. The case manager calls the ophthalmologist for Jane and gets him to agree to complete the prior auth paperwork. Upon hearing about Joe’s mobility problems, the case manager discusses the transportation services available to them both for appointments and helps schedule the needed rides. The case manager also helps Jane transfer their prescriptions to a pharmacy with home delivery.

Ten weeks later, Joe takes Jane out to dinner to celebrate his freedom from the cast and walker. Joe’s shower chair stays in the shower. His walker folds up and goes out in the garage. They decide to have the housekeeper come twice a month. They have their groceries delivered all the time. The number to the insurance member services line is on a post-it note on the side of the refrigerator.

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Jane and Joe are a success story because they effectively used a wide variety of support services to get help. They got through this crisis and they got valuable experience that prepares them for the next crisis. Some of the changes they made will stay in their lives because they make things easier regardless of their current physical status. Some changes were temporary. Either way, they have a strong basis for coping when something else goes wrong. The goal most of us have is to do it like Jane and Joe: stay in our homes and be in charge of our own lives as we age and manage infirmities. It’s strange to say, but the best way to be in charge is to seek help and make the accommodations needed. 

When you are in crisis, we will put you on the prayer list and add our prayers to yours to ask for God’s blessing on you. The power of prayer is our best intervention, but some things we can control ourselves, and they should be tried as well. We hope this page of suggestions is helpful. May God’s grace protect you.  

 

                

Barnabas

         

    From the Orthodox Study Bible: Ancient Christianity  Speaks to Today's World . Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

In seeking help Barnabas reveals humility, a recognition of his own limitations, and his communion with and dependence on the other apostles.